Slow Fade

This morning, I was riding back home from class and Slow Fade by Casting Crowns came on the radio. Immediately my heart broke.

"Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade"

I have an old friend, who is going through a huge life change right now. He is about to be a daddy. While this is exciting, and I am happy for him, I'm also scared for him. I pray that the baby is his, I pray that he will be able to love the baby like his, even if it isn't. I pray that he will be able to shower the baby with love and protection, but most of all that he will be able to show God's love to that baby.
I look back on our friendship and see where we once were and now where we are. We once talked to each other about everything and were great prayer buddies, now when he is home and I happen to see him, we each look the other way. It brakes my heart where our friendship has gone. I still pray for him and his decisions and safety with what he is doing. I look back at the relationship with Christ that I once saw in him, and I am saddened because I no longer see it there. I just pray that he will come back to Christ through this, that he will be able to look to God for comfort and strength.

I also pray though that God will help me to pray for this situation instead of gossiping about it. It is something that is rather close to Michael and I. We both know the other very well. As the girl is someone that Michael was once very close to. That is how we came to find out about the situation. We received a phone call asking us if she was pregnant because they figured we might know because of our past relationships with the people. I pray though, that even though the situation brings many different feelings to Michael and me, we will be able to lift them up to God, that God will shine through this situation and work the miracles that I know He can through them.

The main reason that my heart broke when I heard the song is that I look back and the track I saw this guy taking. I look back at the friendship we once had and how I later watched him slowly fade from God.

I am struggling right now with feeling discomfort, sadness, anger, among many other feelings with the situation. I believe that the main reason I am feeling this way right now is because of what relationships used to be there, and the fact that I didn't lift him up enough in prayer. I know that God has His hand on the situation, and that He will do His work through the situations. It didn't come as a surprise to Him. I have to remind myself this. I have to remind myself that all I can do because of the situations we are all in is pray now.

As I'm writing this right now, I Lift My Hands by Chris Tomlin just came on the radio.

"I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God, forever"

I love how God works. As I am sitting here pouring out my heart about this situation, He reminds me through song that He IS faithful!

Thank you, God, for reminding me that I do not need to worry and that you are faithful in all things. Lord I am weak, you are strong. Thank you for the comfort you provide and the reassurance that you are in control!

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:34

(This is such a random and kind of all over the wall post, but this is just how it poured out. Sorry about that)